I recently came across a couple of interesting videos by someone named Chris Crocker. Apparently Mr. Focker Crocker is upset about a few things, one of which being how the media has treated Britney Spears recently. He gives a tearful unnecessarily over dramatic and emotional monologue explaining his point of view in this youtube video. But the videos I want to share with you today show a darker side of the Chris Crocker we now all know and love, his side chock full of hypocrisy and rainbow colored activism signs.
Apparently there's a lot of gay bashing going on on youtube and no one is there to end this injustice and save the day. Cue in... Chris Crocker. It is his job to quell the unmentionable high number of videos discriminating against all of the innocent gay, lesbian, transgendered, queer, intersexed, and questioning people of the world. He is their hero.. he is... Chris Crocker. Witness their hero educating the masses on the proper uses of the words 'bitch' and 'please' in the same sentence - Chris Crocker's 'Bitch Please' video. Now that we are thoroughly familiar with Chris, can I call him Chris? Let us see his activism in action!
Very inspiring. It's a tear jerker people. And now we see that large rainbow-colored activist/love for the people shroud come tearing down in his next performance... Voila!!
And I'll leave you with that video to think upon for another time.
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Friday, February 22, 2008
Chris Crocker... Gay Activist
Gay People vs. The World
Everything allowed on T.V. including the ever popular, "The Real World," features guys kissing guys and girl-on-girl action. So I guess I'm not that surprised. And, although it's becoming more common, you don't see a same sex couple that often. Seeing two people of the same sex together is passed off as two friends, until you see a kiss or an extremely affectionate touch, then you realize you've witnessed something wrong different.
The general consensus is that it's okay for girls but not for guys. Although I agree with this double standard wholeheartedly, I must admit that it's unfair. This standard only really exists because we live in a male run society that grades itself on its masculinity on a daily basis.
Other people claim their homophobia is based on the bible but I'm calling bullshit on this one. I won't go into detail for fear of a religious war, but suffice it to say, anyone who will be so strict about the fact that God created man for woman better believe that the earth was created in 6 days, and that Jesus turned water into wine. I'm just sayin'. Because you can't pick and choose what you want to support out of the bible. Especially when I mention one book, Revelations.
With all that said... why do people care so much? Why exactly is being gay so wrong? Are you eradicating homosexualism because of your own insecurities? I think so. And I'll leave it alone for now.
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How To Write A Paper In College
1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lit place in front of your computer.
2. Log onto MSN and AIM (be sure to go on away!). Check your email.
3. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.
4. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some chocolate to help you concentrate.
5. Check your email/facebook.
6. Call up a friend and ask if he/she wants to go to grab a coffee. Just to get settled down and ready to work.
7. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lit place.
8. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.
9. Check your email/facebook.
10. You know, you haven't written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You'd better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.
11. Look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.
12. Grab some mp3z off of limewire.
13. Check your email/facebook. ANY OF THIS SOUND FAMILIAR YET?!
14. MSN/AIM chat with one of your friends about the future. (ie summer plans).
15. Check your email/facebook.
16. Listen to your new mp3z and download some more.
17. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if she's started writing yet. Exchange derogatory emarks about your prof, the
course, the college, the world at large.
18. Walk to the store and buy a pack of gum. You've probably run out.
19. While you've got the gum you may as well buy a magazine and read it.
20. Check your email/facebook.
21. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile on TV.
22. Play some solitare (or age of legends!).
23. Check out bored.com.
24. Wash your hands.
25. Call up a friend to see how much they have done, probably haven't started either.
26. Look through your housemate's book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is.
27. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.
28. Check to see if bored.com has been updated yet.
29. Check your email and listen to your new mp3z.
30. You should be rebooting by now, assuming that windows is crashing on schedule.
31. Read over the assignment one more time, just for heck of it.
32. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.
33. Lie face down on the floor and moan.
34. Punch the wall and break something.
35. Check your email/facebook.
36. Mumble obscenities.
37. 5am - start hacking on the paper without stopping. 6am -paper is finished.
38. Complain to everyone that you didn't get any sleep because you had to write that stupid paper.
39. Go to class, hand in paper, and leave right away so you can take a nap.
Author-- Anonymous
Source [ Here ]
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Thursday, February 21, 2008
6 Steps to Realize You're Gonna Fall Asleep In Class
It's something that we've all done at least once. The professor goes on and on and it seems almost impossible to keep your eyes open, much less pay attention. Fortunately I've put together a list to help students realize when the invader known as sleep approaches so that they may take necessary defensive actions.
- You can't remember what was just said a couple minutes ago...
This is the beginning stages of falling asleep in class.
The enemy spies are testing the waters. They have slyly moved onto your lands, and you realize something is happening but you shrug it off as just daydreamiing.... bad decision. It is during this stage where you can either step it up and focus or possibly lose the battle all together. - You take a big sigh every once in a while...
Their messenger has just knocked on the front gates asking for a surrender.
You won't take it will you?Not even yawns... sighs. These are the sighs you take after your breathing begins to slow down signaling sleep. It's the "breathe in... out... in... out... big inhale... big exhale..." sigh. - All of a sudden your eyelids are REALLY heavy...
"They have lined up sire" Their army is standing right outside your gates ready to begin the battle. You realize that you may need reinforcements.....
It's a 'wtf' feeling at first because "I wasn't even really that tired" pops into your mind. But then it hits you that yea, you were that tired. You begin to fight back their droopiness. The only way to fight this is to have a friend nudging you in the side because your ability to fight the sleep is extremely weakened at this point. - Your head begins to resemble a bobblehead...
They've breached the front gate! They're poring in! What do we do sir? What do we do? The answer? Nothing... nothing you can do.
I'm actually sorry for everyone at this point because even if your seat happens to be dead center in the front of the class there is no turning back from here. Not even a friend (who was really helpful in the last step) with an unusually knobby elbow can save you now. You're down for the count as your head continually hits your chest. - That desktop is lookin' mighty comfy right now.....
You have laid down your arms and your army has completely surrendered. The city is occupied and women and children are being taken... This is where most people are caught sleeping during class. Your arms are folded in front of you on top of the desk and your head slowly begins its descent onto the makeshift pillow. Who ever knew forearms were so comfortable?! This is the end-stage. Anyone at this stage has failed to ward off the invading barrage of sleep during the past twenty minutes. - To everyone else in the classroom....
Let them sleep. After a battle like that... they've earned it....
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Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Please, Do Not Attempt This Game or You Will Go Insane
There's a game on the internet titled... "Hardest Game Ever" by some. After playing it, I definitely agree. Please I beg of you... don't play this game. Or, if you think that you are the only person that can beat it go ahead. I gave up at the beginning of the third level.
Check it out here.
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Pocket Taser
A guy who purchased his wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this over at www.dysan.net.
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??
WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.
I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.??
AWESOME!!!?
Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.??
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?! !??
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.
I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong???
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another.
The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.? ? All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, "no possible way!"??
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...? ? I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one- second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button,?and??
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!!!??
I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner , then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again.
I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs?
The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "Do it again, stupid, do it again!"??
Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself!
You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.
A three-second burst would be considered conservative??
SON-OF-A-... That hurt like **% !!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they get up there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I'm still looking for my testicles! I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!! Still in shock!!
P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!?
Source [ Here ]
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If You Have a Dell Computer Hopefully You Won't Go Through This
If You Watch This 100 Times You Will Still Laugh
Monday, February 18, 2008
40 Things That Only Happen In The Movies
Did you ever notice that certain things only happen in the movies, but never happen in real life? For example:
1. It is always possible to find a parking spot directly outside or opposite the building you are visiting.
2. When paying for a taxi, don’t look at your wallet as you take out a note. Just grab one out at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
3. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment it’s aired.
4. Creepy music (or satanic chanting) coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.
5. Any lock can be picked with a credit card or paperclip in seconds. UNLESS it’s the door to a burning building with a child inside.
6. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
7. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital displays so you know exactly when they are going to explode.
8. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to learn to speak German. Simply speaking English with a German accent will do. Similarly, when they are alone, all German soldiers prefer to speak English to each other.
9. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off. Even while scuba diving.
10. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.
11. Any police officer about to retire from the force will more often than not die on their last day (especially if their family have planned a party). (Caveat: Detectives can only solve a case after they have been suspended from duty).
12. Getaway cars never start first go. But all cop cars do. (They will also slide to a dramatic stop in the midst of a crime scene).
13. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.
14. On a police stake-out, the action will only ever take place when food is being consumed and scalding hot coffees are perched precariously on the dashboard…
15. All grocery shopping involves the purchase of French loaves which will be placed in open brown paper bags (Caveat: when said bags break, only fruit will spill out).
16. Cars never need fuel (unless they’re involved in a pursuit).
17. If you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your opponents will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around you in a threatening manner until you have defeated their predecessor.
18. If a microphone is turned on it will immediately feedback.
19. Guns are like disposable razors. If you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. you will always find another one.
20. All single women have a cat.
21. Cars will explode instantly when struck by a single bullet.
22. No matter how savagely a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.
23. If being chased through a city you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick’s Day parade - at any time of the year.
24. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. Nobody will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.
25. You will survive any battle in any war UNLESS you show someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
26. Prostitutes always look like Julia Roberts or Jamie Lee Curtis. They have expensive clothes and nice apartments but no pimps. They are friendly with the shopkeepers in their neighbourhood who don’t mind at all what the girl does for a living.
27. A single match is usually sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
28. It is not necessary to say “Hello” or “Goodbye” when beginning a telephone conversation. A disconnected call can always be restored by frantically beating the cradle and saying “Hello? Hello?” repeatedly.
29. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at once (this is known as Stallone’s Law).
30. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in you room will still be visible, just slightly bluish.
31. Plain or even ugly girls can become movie star pretty simply by removing their glasses and rearranging their hair.
32. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their enemies with complicated devices incorporating fuses, pulleys, deadly gases, lasers and man-eating sharks.
33. All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach to armpit level on a woman but only up to the waist of the man lying beside her.
34. Anyone can land a 747 as long as there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
35. During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
36. You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
37. Most musical instruments (especially wind instruments and accordions) can be played without moving your fingers.
38. In Middle America, all gas station at tendants have red handkerchiefs hanging out of their back pockets.
39. All teen house parties have one of every stereotypical subculture present (even people who aren’t liked and would never get invited to parties).
40. Trucks use their horns at random (no hang on, that happens in real life too!).
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Questions That The World Has Never Been Able to Answer
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
What is the speed of darkness?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Did you ever stop and wonder......
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I’ll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bum."
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on……. Yes, it caught me too!
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
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Saturday, February 16, 2008
Seen The Matrix? Not This Version
Check out this parody of the matrix by theslackerz.com
Click the picture for a larger version
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Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter
Some thoughtful information for those who ARE daughters, WERE daughters, HAVE daughters, INTEND TO HAVE daughters, or INTEND TO DATE a daughter.
Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five:
In order for us to get to know each other, you may think we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on his subject is "early."
Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my Daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided. Movies, which feature chainsaws, are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pot-bellied, balding, middle-aged, dim-witted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy outside of Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
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Perfect Happiness is Perfect Ignorance?
Please people listen to reason! See the light! Save yourselves from ignorance. Here is my view of Christianity captured so eloquently in this picture. Take a look and tell me what you think.
Click the picture to see a bigger version.
Any problems? Tell me what you think in the comments.
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Mind Tricks
I found this REALLY wierd mind trick over at joke-archives.com very strange if you haved tried it before.
It seems to exploit something similar in all of us. What if someone were to exploit this? Interesting to think about....
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Thursday, February 14, 2008
James Bond Car Created
With another case of rich people having no idea what to do with there money... we have the underwater car costing a small sum of nearly $2 million. The car works both on land and is able to dive underwater. Enjoy.
Source [Here]
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